Can You Force Someone to Keep Living?

Well, if you insist on force feeding them maybe...

The only time I really saw my father get a little irritated with us was when we continually tried to make him eat. He had completely lost all desire to eat and had a feeling of being full all the time. Now I'm not advocating forcing someone to eat, but he lost his appetite very early in his illness. As a result we tried desperately to find foods that would tempt him.

This wasn't an easy task and I think it will be easiest if I just list the foods that worked and how we prepared and served them, as well as other items we found we needed.

-Straws with the bendy ends
-At least 2 small thermoses
-Ziploc baggies
-Plastic wrap
-Crushed ice (you need a lot of ice!)
-Mouth swabs - You can get mouthswabs from your homecare workers, hospital or some pharmacies. They are lollipop sticks with a kind of sponge on the end. Generally they are used in place of toothbrushes, but we modified them. We would run them under water till the toothpaste stuff was gone, then let them dry out. After they were dry would soak them in either lemonade, orange juice, or grape juice, then wrap them loosely in plastic wrap and pop them in the freezer.)


1) Any fruit chopped into small pieces and then frozen (he would suck on these to keep his mouth moist) - We used watermelon, strawberries, grapes, peaches and pineapple. My sister and I would cut them up and put them in baggies in the freezer. Then at night we would take a mini thermos and fill it with a few frozen pieces and icecubes and keep it by his bedside.

2) Soft boiled eggs - Sometimes he would be willing to eat a spoonful or two, but pass on the salt or pepper.

3) Olives - Yeah I know it sounds gross, but he didn't mind popping one into his mouth, nibble on it and then suck on the pit for a while.

4) Freshly squeezed orange juice - Even though he was having a fair amount of acid reflux he managed a small bit of orange juice in the mornings for a little while. (For some reason he wouldn't drink it at night)

5) V8 juice or beet juice - I bought organic beet juice which he surprisingly enjoyed.

6) Hot chocolate

7) Coffee with milk and sugar

8) Coca Cola - He went on a bit of a coke kick for a few days

That's about it. Nothing else really tempted him at all. One day, on the way back from the hospital he did mention Dim Sum (his all time favorite), so I went and picked some up. He managed a tiny bit, but I think it was a fluke, and probably the last meal he really ever had.

Remember when you are preparing food for someone who is this ill, they are only going to have extremely tiny portions. For instance, one or two teaspoons of the soft boiled egg was about the maximum he would eat. Oh, but when you put the fruit in the thermos for him to have at night, always put extra in as you will delve into it yourself.

Anyone who tells you that someone who doesn't eat or drink will die within 7 days is not necessarily correct. My father lived on maybe a tablespoon of solid food and one or one and a half cups of fluids for more than two months. In the end, I think he lived for about 3 weeks with less than one sip of water per day, and for sure he did not eat or drink anything for the final two weeks of his life.

On a bit of an upbeat note, one day Dr. Pylypchuk (Dad's best friend) dropped by for his usual visit and the two of them decided a drink of scotch was in order. I think dad actually had the equivalent of two shots. They were laughing and having a great time. The next morning was a different story altogether. Dad was completely hungover! Everyone was hovering around him, trying to make him feel better when I waltzed in and announced I had no sympathy for a grown man refusing to eat all day then deciding to break his fast with 2 shots of booze! I mentioned it was payback for his lack of sympathy when I was a teen and came home drunk. He found me quite amusing, but my mom thought I was horrid HAHAHAAA!

-Swapna